Antebellum
by tykiki
Summary: Diary entries between Liz and Will. Set right after DMC. Contains spoilers. WE romance. Disclaimer: Not on every chapter, here instead. I regrettably do not own POTC. Though I would dearly love to.
1. Chapter 1 Prepare

**Will**

**Entry 1- Prepare**

Yes, we are getting ready. Mentally and emotionally preparing ourselves for the journey that lies ahead. All except Elizabeth. She acts as if nothing is wrong. As if she did **not** destroy us. Our relationship. As if nothing is wrong. She just mopes around, and claims to be preparing the way the rest of us are, but everyone can see that she is hurting, and that she is in no way preparing and asking questions, things that she normally would be doing if Jack were here. Even if no one else could tell, I could. Her face stays frozen, like she's hiding behind a mask, and she's refusing to talk to me, to let me in. Or maybe I'm refusing to let her let me in.

She is driving me crazy. Or maybe I'm driving me crazy, and blaming it on her. I suppose I should break our engagement. But until we find Jack and she is happy again, that would be very barbaric- not even Jack would do something that horrid. So I've mostly avoided her, not that she notices. The only time I can't avoid her is at night, when I need sleep. Then everything floods back. The pain I'd tried to forget over the day.

Do you think I will ever be able to forget the look she has been carrying for a week?

I'll be lucky if I can ever look at her again and not see it.

The pain is coming back again. It does that; haunts me. Because you know I'm desperate for it to come back. Oh yeah, most definitely. And as I said, it comes back every night. Every night, because unfortunately for me, I don't trust anyone else on this ship to sleep that little distance away from her and not take advantage of her.

Granted I know very well it's doubtful they would, but then again I remind myself: They are pirates. So Elizabeth and I share a room. My bunk, on the right as you face it from the doorway. She sleeps less than a meter away from me. And that's when it comes back. Those urges that I didn't used to have to hold back- the ones where I could touch her, and look at her… tell her things… so I try to avoid looking at her. Because then those urges come back. And I can't have those, not when she's in love with someone else.

I'm sure she doesn't notice that I stopped looking at her most of the time; she's probably too busy thinking about her and Jack's reunion.

You know what I just noticed? I haven't told her that I love her in two weeks.

Not that she's noticed. Though every time I see her, it almost slips out. But somehow, without having to sew my lips shut, I manage to contain it. Maybe it's me very wonderful photographic memory reminding of Jack and her's kiss. Damn you, brain. Well, after we rescue Jack, I can go back to being a blacksmith and avoid the sea to avoid her memory. Yes, Miss Swann's memory (ouch, okay, that hurt a lot).

Maybe I'll consider seeing a lady that had been coming to supposedly "check up" on me, but really just wanted to chat with me, and she was quite flirtatious if I remember correctly. I don't know anymore, because she knew I was (am) engaged and she pretty much stopped coming to see me. So maybe I'll consider seeing her. Jaynie Pierce. Maybe I'll get married, even. Be happy, have kids, and hope to

Forget I was ever in love with Miss Swann. Hope to forget her name, even; and not to mention bloody Jack- excuse me, I meant "Captain" Jack Sparrow.

How un-gentlemanly of me (kiss my bloody arse). Okay, this writing is making me furious again. Like I need to go and find him so I can kill him with my bare hands. There my mind goes again. Repeating that bloody kiss. Damn you, brain. Now I remember why I had tried to stop thinking all together. To avoid my nice brain repeating that over and over and over… oh, and over again!

I had stopped thinking, I was just doing. Tia Dalma says that my future has become clear, and she keeps repeating this to me, no matter if I ask her a question or tell her she looks like hell (tried both) "The sun that you believe is now setting, is only just beginning to rise." And that makes me furious all over again.

WHAT SUN?

My life? The actual sun? What is that supposed to mean, anyhow? Oh, I had better leave for now. Elizabeth has entered the room. That riddle is still stuck in my head. "The sun you believe is now setting is only just beginning to rise." Riddles… I hate riddles.

**-Will**

**Elizabeth**

Entry 1 -Prepare

I watch very warily here. And I want to know horribly: Why is Will ignoring me? It is getting quite irritating. I can't tell what he's feeling anymore, let alone thinking. I used to be able to tell, anyone who wanted to know, what most likely was running through his mind. But now? His face is frozen, shows no mercy, no feeling. No emotion whatsoever that could possibly betray his thoughts. His eyes don't even show the gentle warmth they used to.

His eyes are like rusted steel. Rusted for the color, but steel all the same. What is the matter with him? I keep waiting to see his face change, for that awful mask to leave. But it does not. He reminds me of a caged animal, how wild and free he used to be, now sullen and unchanging. And it honestly makes me wonder: Did he see me betray the friend we are now going after? Did he see me betray him as well as myself?

Maybe that is why he treats me so harshly now? I feel so lost without him to open up to. He avoids me constantly, most likely thinking I do not notice. William, I notice all right. And it pains me that you avoid me like I am an unclean heathen. It feels like any second now he's going to break off our engagement. I want him to know more than anything that I want to marry him so badly. But since he avoids me the way he does, it is extremely hard for me to open up to him, or corner him and tell him to let me talk to him. Like I'm contagious or something.

Like I smell badly, which I probably do, considering I haven't had a proper bath in two weeks, but I don't smell any worse than he does- in fact I probably smell better.

There I go again. I'm being "more holy than thou" which is to say: snobby, and I really am not though Will avoids me as if I were. And it hurts. And who's counting, but he hasn't told me he loves me in almost two weeks. TWO WEEKS! That's like almost impossible! He's driving me crazy! What's wrong with him! He doesn't even touch me anymore- not even accidentally because… oh, yes, now I remember… He avoids me like the plague!

I mean, seriously; who am I to judge, but William is starting to be less like the man I fell in love with and more like the man I killed. Yes, alright? I killed a man. Jack Sparrow! I **killed** Captain Jack Sparrow! Is the world happy now? Can I have my life back? Can he touch me now? Can I be me instead of pretending to be some fearless, heartless pirate? Am I allowed to cry now? Here's something I never thought I'd say… can I wear a corset and dress? Be treated like a lady instead of a pirate? Can I please quit being affiliated with Jack, move on, have a life of my own, have children, and maybe be normal?

The witchdoctor, Tia Dalma, says that my future have become clear to her. That "The tears you shed now will become harsher; they may even kill you. But it is worth it in your end." Please, someone explain to me what she means! The tears I shed now… is she saying that the pain I'm suffering now will be worth it? Nothing is going to be worth this. Nothing. Ever. I must bid you good bye, lessons continue, and I wouldn't like to miss the last one over mentally preparing…

**-Elizabeth**


	2. Chapter 2 I Want

**Will**

**Entry 2- I Want**

I want… What do I want? I want my life to become simpler. Yes. Simpler would be extremely nice right now. It's not like my life needs any more complexity. I want to go home. I miss my poor blacksmith shop… I want to make swords for people again, and other things as well.

I want to be able to eat something and know what it is. Not a mystery meat like we eat here. I kind of poke at my food to make sure it doesn't move (ha ha) and it never does, but it's still a good thing to check. Tonight I will completely act like a hog; Elizabeth is cooking, and she makes a wicked seafood fry. Speaking of wants again; I want out of this house, away from some of these people. Except Elizabeth, I don't want away from her.

IF anything I want nearer; to hold her again… to be able to look at her unguarded. I want to be able to wake up and to think about her without being pained… I love her so, so much. I wish she knew. She used to, but maybe the couple weeks we spent apart she forgot, and now that she loves Jack she doesn't care.

I remember once being told that if I woke up and the very first thought I could think was of piracy, then I needed to be a pirate. If blacksmithing, then a blacksmith. I remember once being told that if I thought of one particular woman, then she was thinking of me, and we needed each other more than anything. Now I don't believe it anymore. Because she most definitely does not need me. And if she did, this is Elizabeth that we're talking about here! She'd tell me what she was feeling if she was feeling it. But apparently she's not feeling it, because she certainly isn't telling me it.

Or maybe she's not telling me because I don't give her the chance to? Wouldn't she try to corner me if she was trying to tell me? Or would she just let the words sink into the back of her mind, where they could be forgotten? It's like I don't even know her anymore. But yet, three weeks ago I knew her better than any man ever could… I'm so confused.

Should I want her like I do? Should I have a talk with Jack when we rescue him? Or should I confront Elizabeth now? If I confronted her now do you think she might have a different reaction? Will we ever be the same? Or will we fall apart? Will we ever get close enough again to fall apart? Will this hurt ever go away? I have so many questions. And it feels like none of them will ever be answered. I know very well they will be in time, but time is starting to feel like it takes too long. After about fifteen seconds time takes too long.

I want to be me again. I mean I want to be William Turner, son of Bootstrap Bill Turner, son of a pirate, a blacksmith, and a fiancé to Governor Weatherby Swann's daughter, Miss Elizabeth Swann.

And more than anything in this instance, I want to be needed again. I want her to want me the way she used to. I want her to love me again, to be happy again, to touch me back, to look at me unguarded, to let me in again, to talk to me, and to strip me down to my soul with her stare. The way she used to, I want her to see me as me again; not just another man that tried to get close to her. I want her to see me as I want to be seen.

Son of a pirate, and a blacksmith. All that, I want her to see me as. But there's something deeper that connected us together. And I really want her to see me as whatever she saw me as then.

Hers. I think that's what she saw me as. Her own. Someone that she didn't have to worry about leaving or not listening, or telling her thoughts to someone else. That is also something I miss. The way we could sit there for hours upon hours, and no matter how often we saw each other, three or four times a day, and still never run out of things to say to each other.

Sometimes I'd just sit there with her hands in mine as she sat across from and listen to her voce, and not even pay attention to what she was saying, just close my eyes until the only thing I could hear was the vibrations of her voice that soothed me into almost ecstasy. Or she'd just listen to my voice to just about the same point. She never let herself get to the point that she didn't pay attention to anything I was saying. No, she didn't do that after the first time. I asked her something and she forgot to answer. After a moment I squeezed her hand, and she looked as if she'd just woken up. I can't help but chuckle of the memory.

See? I'm so sick of not being able to think about anything but her. I hate when I get like this. Remembering to the point that I can hear what she's saying again. Sometimes she's just say something and I'd ask her to repeat the same thing over and over until I got bored of it because I loved the specific pattern of the vibrations in her voice. I got so good at listening to just the vibrations that I could understand what she was saying and not pay attention.

And she believed our minds were connected, because sometimes we'd just sit there and have conversations with our eyes, and her father would shake his head because it kind of weirded him out, how in love we were, how when he looked at us, we even looked like we belonged to each other the way we wanted to.

It's amusing to think of now, the way we used to be so close, but how one action can tear us further apart than we ever were.

And If I think back to when we first got engaged, I remember holding Elizabeth and telling her I never wanted to let go, because it meant that I wasn't touching her anymore.

She told me that she didn't want me to stop touching her either. Nor had she ever. Now I'm not so sure she didn't imagine she was talking to Sparrow. Now, I don't believe her. I'm not sure I even believe myself- meaning I'm not sure whether I should trust my feelings, the ones that say I love her, or my instincts, which say to slowly draw away from her. Not that I haven't already accomplished that. Since we mainly don't talk anymore.

You know, I'm not even sure that I believe a word she's ever told me. I can almost hear her voice again… the way I used to… and it's tiring. Not that this training is not already exhausting.

If I concentrate… I can hear the vibrations of her voice… calling my name… it actually slows my heart down and calms my mind, I'm almost asleep… I can hear her saying my name the way she used to… oh… wait… it is her calling me. Good gracious, I can't believe that I just almost sat there and fell asleep to her voice, when I'm trying to be mad at her! Shame on you, Will! Sheesh…

**-Will**

**Elizabeth**

Entry 2 - I want

I'm not going to be lady like about this statement, and you can just go walk the plank if you don't like it. I want William. I want William to want me again. I don't know what his issue is! Every time I try talk to him, he acts as if his whole world has collapsed and doesn't listen to a bloody word I say!

I COULD HAVE HAD JAMES NORRINGTON!

I COULD HAVE HAD ANY MAN IN PORT ROYAL THAT I WANTED!

I COULD HAVE HAD ANY MAN IN PORT ROYAL!

AND WHO DID I CHOOSE!

**BLOODY WILLIAM TURNER!**

I don't understand why he's being so… William, There are sometimes- like now, for instance, that I just want to strangle him and kiss him at the same time. It's funny, the fact that he irritates me, but the irritation just attracts me to him more. Like a bug to fire; I know it's going to hurt, but I burn myself anyway. Only in a good way. And I'm starting to sound like Tia Dalma, with my analogies. They're all riddles now, it's sort of entertaining. I miss home. I miss my simple life, and as I said before, I thought I'd never say this, but I miss wearing a corset. I miss being treated like a lady, like a woman, like any form of femininity. I wish that I could have something a little more form fitting, something more attractive. It used to be I could wear a sack and Will wanted to show me off to the world.

But for some reason now it's like he's embarrassed of me. Like he really wants to just lock me away and never look at me again. Like an unwanted toy for a child. I hate that feeling. I want to feel special again. I want to feel wanted the way I used to. Will used to want to just listen to me for forever, just have me say whatever was on my mind, so he could listen to my voice.

I miss that so much. I miss him so much. I miss the way that he used to touch my hair to my father's dismay, just in front of Father. Mainly to annoy him, and the second Father left we'd erupt into laughter. I remember he would sit there and hold my hands, and just listen to my voice with his eyes closed to the point that he looked drunker than Mr. Gibbs after a bottle of rum.

But it was just because of my voice. I love him so much, and every time I try to tell him that he leaves the room, or interrupts me, or excuses himself, or someone else starts to speak. And me, being the supposed "lady" I am, don't say anything even though I'm tired of holding my tongue. I'm tiring of being a lady. I'm not a lady, I'm a bloody pirate. Jack Sparrow said so himself. Because I'm not sorry for any of my actions. I guess that bothers me quite a bit now. The fact that I don't feel sorry or upset, I don't regret it, I just don't… it makes me a pirate. And I should be happy that my entire life's want is finally fulfilled, and normally I would be, but however… I might as well have lost my fiancé, as he no longer acknowledges me, I lost one of my best friends, my Father has no idea where I am, the entire Royal Navy is out looking for William and I, the witchdoctor is confusing me, I'm hungry and dinner's not for a few hours, and I'M STILL AN UNMARRIED VIRGIN!

I was supposed to have had my wedding night three weeks ago. But noooooooooooooo, of course not! And so I'm stuck waiting and waiting to the point that I'm about ready to break down. Plus we're leaving tomorrow for our extremely long journey. Because that's exactly what I need right now.

To be cooped up on a ship with a Captain that dislikes me, a crew that doesn't know me, and a fiancé whose shoulder is not there to lean on the way he is supposed to be. No, instead there I a nice cozy wall to lean on. Because there is a wall between us now.

Granted, we were all supposed to build walls up around ourselves to be able to make this journey and not be mentally or emotionally wounded, but I am already so deeply wounded that I don't think anything will surprise me. And Tia said that Will and my relationship needed to be our strong point, something we could think of to help us be happy in the worst situations, but instead there is a thicker wall between us now than there is between Pintel and I- which is to say something. Other than "Ewwwwww".

At least Anna Marie and I are getting along fairly well. Granted we are the only women on the ship, but we're getting along all the same. Will doesn't even trust her enough to let me share a room with her. So she shares one with Tia; which she says if fine, she really doesn't care. Which I suppose is good.

I was extremely shocked earlier today. I called Will, and he didn't come when I called him which is extremely unlike him. So I stepped into our room, and said his name again. He was sitting on his bunk, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed, pen and a blank book in his hands. So I called him a couple more times before he realized I was speaking to him. It was very entertaining; he was sitting there with his eyes closed in his ecstatic stage again.

Like he was concentrating on hearing my voice in his head. I wonder if he's hurting as much as I am. I wish he'd just come out and say that he wants me again. For God's sake I certainly am ready to tell him I want him right back. But he won't stay in the same spot long enough for me to tell him these feelings, so they stay cooped up and hidden away to the point that I feel like bursting.

That's why I started keeping a diary. Tia said it's good for letting emotions out that feel like they are strangling me. And these emotions have stopped merely strangling me long ago; now I am drowned by them. I just want to hold out my arms and have him rush to them like he used to, as a way to express that I love him. I wonder if he would still come to me if I did hold my arms out to him, or if he would ignore me like he normally does. Maybe I'll try. But I'm afraid to, because I'm so afraid that I would be humiliated if he refused me.

Maybe I should try in private. Maybe I should touch him again when he is not awake. So that I can still feel his touch; but I don't have to experience the hardness of his eyes with the loveliness of feeling his skin under mine again.

His touch… used to make me shiver with love for him… the air around us always felt like a vacuum, sucking the air out of my lungs because of his touch. It used to make me gasp, though I wouldn't know anymore because he doesn't even look at me with the same intensity he used to.

He looks at me with intensity all right, just a different kind. The kind that you wonder if they're thinking about murdering you or just leaving you on, marooned an island as they had Jack. I miss Jack also. He brought Will into my life; Will told me that it was Jack first made him realize that he loved me. That for someone who was so against piracy he was certainly on his way to becoming one. First he stole a man out of prison, and then helped said man commandeer a ship, and he's completely obsessed with treasure.

Will said that he told Jack he was not obsessed with treasure, and that Jack told him "not all treasure is gold and silver"… I miss those moments, when Will would tell me about his adventure with Jack to rescue me… I remember him saying that before Jack was put into jail the same day that he cut my corset off of me, he was hiding from the guards and went to Will's shop. Will said that he came back from delivering the sword to Father and saw his blacksmith master still asleep, right where he left him… but that one of his tools was not right where he left it, and that there was this hat laying to the side… and that when he reached for the hat, Jack snatched it from him and they battled right there in the shop.

I remember laughing about how when Will and he were fighting Jack wanted to know who made them all, and when Will said he did and that he practiced with them three hours a day, Jack told him he needed to find a girl. Will said when he mentioned me that Jack told him that "Ah, so you have a girl, just the wooing is a problem", and Will fought harder.

I can tell you that the wooing is not an issue when he feels like it. But lately it's been an issue. Maybe he's tired of me? That's a definite possibility, though it's never seemed to be a problem before! Maybe he just doesn't want to act romantically inclined in front of others, though that was never a problem before either. This is beginning to hurt again. I need to go, before my thoughts consume me so that I do not even hear someone right in front of me. Will enters the room. Now is my chance to confront him.

**- Elizabeth**


	3. Chapter 3 Unbelieveable

**Will**

**Entry 3- Unbelievable**

I'm finished with Elizabeth and her ups and downs. But yet… she tried to confront me yesterday. We are on the ship right now. We left early this morning. Nothing has gone wrong. Except for the confrontation with Elizabeth yesterday and in that case I'm not very pleased with myself. She tried to corner me last night before I went to sleep.

I'm going to write our conversation…

Elizabeth: Will?  
Me: _I'm ignoring you. You're causing me pain right now. Go away. And don't come back, you lying-_  
E: Will? I know you're awake?  
M: _not hearing you! Sleeping! Leave me be!_  
E: William, I know you're awake and you're just ignoring me.  
M: (roll over to face her, snapping) What, Elizabeth?  
E: I… I… Well… Will, I…  
M: Elizabeth, **what** do you want?  
E: I'm… I'm-  
M: Long journey tomorrow. Get some sleep.  
E: (glare) Will, don't talk to me like that. I didn't do anything to deserve it.  
M: Oh, right. And I'm a pi… And I'm a woman.  
E: (jaw drop) William! What on EARTH did I DO to YOU?  
M: Eli… **Miss Swann**, I believe that you and I are both very exhausted, and we should get some sleep for our journey. It is a very long one, and I'd much rather be awake because it will be a difficult one also.

E: (hurt look) But Will, I… I'm… (toned down to whisper) I'm sorry.  
M: (pretending to ignore, listening intently) _Come on… Say that you love me so kiss and make up. Being sorry doesn't mean you love me._

E: Will… I'm so sorry…

(both go to sleep)

I feel so guilty that I didn't give her the chance to tell me anything that she was feeling. Maybe I wouldn't feel sick to my stomach. I know its not sea sickness, I've never had it before, and it's not like I've never been on a ship before…

I wish I could go back and start the conversation again. I don't know why I was being so bitter towards her. Maybe my mind decided to go ahead and begin replaying. Kiss… Kiss… again, and again and again and; well, you get it. I can bet that Elizabeth won't say anything to me for days now, because of how bitter I was to her.

I can only imagine what she is thinking now, writing in her own journal. Tia Dalma said that this was the best outlet for my emotions, all the crew keeps one now, and I get the impression that Jack did also before… before that happened. The more I think of the way I treated her, and her last words that were nothing but a whisper, the worse I bloody feel. What kind of horrible "gentleman" would treat his fiancée in such a way?

I'm irritating myself and making myself feel worse at the same time. I never knew I could do that. It feels really strange, like a new sensation that I'm just discovering, but sensation in a bad way. Is sensation the word I'm looking for? Kind of difficult to say, really. I mean… Sensation as in I have never felt like this before, and it is tearing me apart worse than when I saw Elizabeth kiss Jack. And talk about saying something. I really want Elizabeth to be her normal stubborn self and tell me to shut the hell up (even though that would be about as lady-like as my foot.) and keep going because if she does, she could possibly repair our relationship. I just feel as if my whole world has crashed and the burn won't go away.

Let me just ask this: Is it normal to feel this horrible after a fight like this? Even years from now, will I feel this burn? And if I do, will it be worth it or will I just wish to die? Damn that riddle. Damn the riddle that I am living.

"The sun that you believe is now setting is only just beginning to rise."

I have said that to myself one time for each star that I could count…and still it makes no sense. I think Tia Dalma did that on purpose. She gave me a riddle so I'd have something to think about because she knew how long this journey was going to be. I wonder if we are anywhere near close to finding Jack. I wonder if any of us are as emotionally and mentally prepared to find Jack as we think we are.

Of course we are not prepared! What am I thinking? Obviously I'm not; otherwise there would be no journal! Obviously I wasn't, otherwise I would have taken the noose over this. That's sounding incredibly wonderful right now. A hanging… sounds fantastic. NO! SNAP OUT OF IT! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, WILLIAM! You can't just go around daydreaming about hanging yourself!

There's something very, very wrong with wanting to be hung. Speaking of hanging, I had better go otherwise Elizabeth might strangle me.

**Will**

**Elizabeth**

Entry 3- Unbelievable

So I confronted Will yesterday. Silly me. And I thought I might see a change in him if I apologized. My **mistake**. By the way, it you're thinking I might be a little mad, that's the understatement of the **year**. I think I might break our engagement out of spite! Nononononono, how could I ever think that! Elizabeth; that is so stupid- that you would ever think to break a relationship out of spite… how horrible I feel now! But then again… how horrible he made me feel last night! I actually had gotten so rid of the numbness that I cried. I cried. I haven't cried in over 5 months. Here I was, thinking that Will might crack. Boy was I ever wrong. And now? I'd do anything to get him back. Anything. Here's our conversation. 

Me: Will? Will? I know you're awake? William, I know you're awake and you're just ignoring me.  
W: (roll over to face her, snapping) What, Elizabeth?  
M: I… I… Well… Will, I…  
W: Elizabeth, **what** do you want?  
M: I'm… I'm-  
W: Long journey tomorrow. Get some sleep.  
M: (glare) Will, don't talk to me like that. I didn't do anything to deserve it.  
W: Oh, right. And I'm a pi… And I'm a woman.  
M: (jaw drop) William! What on EARTH did I DO to YOU?

W: Eli… **Miss Swann**, I believe that you and I are both very exhausted, and we should get some sleep for our journey. It is a very long one, and I'd much rather be awake because it will be a difficult one also.

M: (hurt look) But Will, I… I'm… (Toned down to whisper) I'm sorry.  
W: (asleep or ignoring)

M: Will… I'm so sorry… _I wish you would listen. I love you._

I just… I really do wish he'd listen. If he listened then it would save us a lot of this trouble. He just…

UGH

He makes me want to smack him in his head, **extremely **hard… and yet… (as I sigh) kiss him at the same time.

Maybe if I try a different approach… something sneakier. Or maybe something bolder? I'll try something bolder first. I'm so done waiting for Will to make the first move. I tried to make the first move gently, so now I'm going to try it a lot harsher. Maybe that will get his attention. Be the pirate that I was to poor Jack. See what Will thinks of me then. Let's see; I'm going to plan what I do right now, so I'm sorry for the next few pages.

**- Elizabeth**


	4. Chapter 4 Locked Away

You all wanted for them to be locked away, right? This chapter is for you.

**Will**

**Entry 4- Locked Away**

So, the title of this entry. About that. How unnervingly accurate it is. Right now I am sitting in a closet with guess who. If you are guessing anybody but Elizabeth then you would be wrong. I am sitting in a cupboard, locked up with the woman that I would dearly love to throttle the life out of.

**With two bottles of rum and a blanket.**

Oh wow, just what I always wanted!

**_NOT. _**

Bloody Barbossa. He bloody did this on bloody purpose. He sent Elizabeth in, supposedly looking for something. When she didn't come out for a while, he sent me in to find her. And then, don't you know that he closed the door as fast as his body would let him, and locked it the second the door clicked shut. So now I'm stuck in a cupboard with Elizabeth, according to Barbossa "until you've got it figured out" which is another one of those quotes. WHAT FIGURED OUT?

He apparently had no intention of telling us. So here we sit. And I can make it- the entire time we're in here. I can make it, without breaking down and without …without… yeah, who am I kidding? I'm not going to make it another minute in here unless I keep writing, so I have to find SOMETHING to write about otherwise, consider me a goner. This is so boring… Elizabeth seems about as thrilled as I am about this whole thing. Which is to say: Not very. Who knows how long we'll be in here? We'll get so good at not talking; we'll forget we had voices by the time we're allowed out of here!

She stays in her corner. I stay in my corner. It's all good until sleepy time. Then I will let her sleep. And when she wakes up I will sleep, this way we do not need to share the blanket. And, as for the rum? Yeah, I think I'll open that right now. First sip: okay, not really that good. 75th gulp: Howlovelyistheworldandeveryoneinit?Elizabeth,you'relookingmorethanabitsuperbrightnowdarling…oh, for heaven's sake! I'm almost drooling on myself! Get a grip, William! Geez. Save the rum, you might need it later.

Rather, you _will_ need that later. HA HA HA… okay, so it wasn't all that funny. Back to the riddle. Again.

"**The sun you believe is setting is only just now beginning to rise." **

Okay, so obviously the "sun" is symbolic. For what? Something I believe to be setting? As in… like, ending? The only thing I can think of is maybe my life.

And I can guarantee that it is something right in front of me, something at the tip of my stupefied tongue.

Sun. Something bright that I believe is setting. Maybe like something that was bright in my life but now it is slowly fading away. Slowly disappearing that leaves a bitter darkness. And stars to light the future?

So it is something that is bright in my life that I believe is setting, leaving a bitter darkness but it is actually a new beginning? A new beginning, as in something is ending that is bringing a new beginning into my path that will lighten my future into day again?

But then again, this something is actually just rising, so I believe it is something bright in my life that is setting, leaving a bitter darkness in my life, but it is actually something just beginning to bloom.

So confusing. My logic and digging sounds like Jack's mumblings. Too much rum. Or not enough rum. That is the question.

**Will **

**Elizabeth**

**Entry 4- Locked Away**

Thanks you, thank you, and thank you very much. I will be here for the next few days. My plan is working. I am now locked in a closet with Will, and quite pleased about it. Hell bloody **_YES_**! Everything is going according. So far. Now if I can get Will to talk to me within the next three days then everything will be dandy.

He's writing in his own journal as we speak, a mask hiding irritation- as you can see the mask does not work on me- so there William. And we are locked in here with two bottles of rum, and a blanket. And I will make sure I drive him as crazy as I can so he will drink it all. Then I will drink myself into the same stupor and hope to God I can remember what happens. Or maybe I'll just let him drink so that I can remember with no problems.

This is very interesting. Being this sneakily bold. I went to Barbossa last night and told him that Will is being very tense and irritable toward me. He suggested we fix that right now so that when we come across whatever happens, Will and I will have each other (now **that** is amusing). I agreed, and we set the plan up without Barbossa making one foul move toward me, coming on to me at all as if I were some Tortuga strumpet. Now that in itself is a miracle. Knowing Will, he's going to plan this out so that he and I do not sleep at the same time, so he does not have to sit or lay close to me since Barbossa gave us a rather small blanket (also on purpose).

He also will attempt to stay in one corner, but with the rocking of the ship, he's lucky if he moves only a little. I once heard the saying that "All is fair in love and war." Yes, well, then let the battles begin because this is going to be one hell of a war that will hopefully end in love.

Hopefully. Oh, look, he opened the rum bottle. And his eyes already begin to glaze over. Hmph. This might be harder then I expected. If he gets drunk easily he will knock himself out if he has too much.

If he doesn't have enough then he will still object. So I have to find his midpoint. Something that makes the whole world look wonderful. Because if the whole world looks wonderful, then so will I. And then I can do something with him, apologize, kiss and make up. And kiss. I like that idea, if you couldn't tell. Barbossa sad that tomorrow we will be making a stop into Tortuga for supplies and to pick up a few more people for the crew. He thinks spares don't hurt a bit, and I have to say I agree with him. I have finally figured out Tia's riddle. "The tears you shed now will become harsher; they may even kill you. But it is worth it in your end." The tears and pain that I feel now are horrible, and they may kill my spirit; but in my end, it finally will be worth it, I will finally be happy. I am so excited to see why she said that. Something I noticed about Tia is that she is always right. And if she is always right then that means that my ending will most definitely be happy. I like happy endings. Waiting for Will!

**Elizabeth**


	5. Chapter 5: 3rd day is NOT the charm

**OH. MY GOD. I though I had posted this chapter three days after Ch4! HOLY FLIPPIN COW, MAN! I'm so beyond mad. When y'all were yelling at me for not posting and I told you this was THE MOST important chapter in the story? Yeah, not true. Ch 6 is, WHICH I ALREADY WROTE BECAUSE I BLOODY THOUGHT I HAD POSTED BLOODY CH 5! So then I get on to post said FREAKING chapter, after church, right? Yeah, my internet was down. PISS ME OFF… so here's Ch5; and as soon as I get reviews from a few people (hopefully all of you by Saturday my time) I will post Ch6. Which is the most important chapter, and quite hilarious if you ask me. Now I'm going to scream for ten minutes straight, into my pillow. Excuse me. **

**Will**

Third time is not the charm, third day is not a good day, and Elizabeth is **driving me _crazy_**. I'm trying to keep from needing to strangle her, but its getting harder.

She's getting more and more annoying, and the rum is starting to look fantastic. Somehow I get the feeling she's being annoying on purpose; but she most likely is not which is the pathetic part. What did I ever see in her? This closet is starting to feel smaller and smaller. Elizabeth's starting to synchronize her schedule for sleeping with mine, so we have to share the blanket. Right now I'd rather freeze. Pretty soon I'm either going to have to snap my neck, or better yet- snap HERS. At least we've got a window? Not big enough to fit through- believe me, I've tried. But big enough to let me know when it's day time.

The more I sit here the more I appreciate the world, the things I can see, and all of that. The more I sit here the more I'm forced to look at Elizabeth, who seems paler because we're not in the sun constantly. Pintel brings us food, so I'm not very concerned about starving, but I feel cooped up. Unhealthy. And out of practice- with my sword; I have not practiced in almost a month, I'll most definitely be rusty if we need to go up against anything.

Or anyone, for that matter…………………

She's watching me. It's kind of creeping me out. She's staring at me, as if she's waiting for something. What would she be waiting for? I haven't spoken to her in the three days we've been in here. What makes her think I'll crack now? I won't. I refuse to break down and speak to her. I do not have to speak to anyone. I can be in my own little world, where she is not. That's what I'll do. But first I'll have some rum.

**Will**

**Elizabeth**

He thinks he's not breaking down. Oh, man is he ever. Any minute now the rum bottle's coming out. I can feel it. An-


	6. Chapter 6: Moving quickly

**Will**

We're out of the closet. The _Flying Dutchman_ was spotted late last night/ early this morning. The Kraken can't be far off if the _Flying Dutchman_ isn't.

Just a moment……………………………………………………………………………

It was not the _Flying Dutchman_. I have been informed it is another ship names the _Empress_. And aboard it are also pirates. Apparently they're from a place called China, though only 3 of them speak English, and it is still not very well. They are looking for a woman named Calypso. Their leader's name is Sao Feng, and they seem innocent enough. They've even offered to help us look for the Kraken and the _Flying Dutchman_, as they too have heard of Davy Jones; and understand his story. Apparently the only reason Barbossa let us out of the closet is because Elizabeth told him to; because we were not speaking to each other at all.

Wise choice on Elizabeth's part, as I would not have broke down and talked to her, because of said memory of their kiss. I can guarantee that she is infuriated with me; I would be infuriated with me as well if I were her. The sun warms my skin. It feels good to see things other than the inside of that damnable closet all the time. I can feel the breeze on my face, I can smell the salt water and… hey… I smell… food… And… I

smell… Elizabeth… probably sound weird to be able to detect her like that, but after three days in a closet with her; you can jus tell. Well… _I_ can just tell. And let me inform you: Yum. I love her so much though…though… what "though"? Is there a "though" to how I feel about her? Should there be a though? Even "though" (ha ha ha) she kissed Jack?

One kiss does not mean that she no longer loves me as she once did, now does it? Just like one good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness. Or something along those lines, along that trail of thought. What little thought there is in that train right now because I'm avoiding myself.

Back to the riddle. Again. I got way too deep into the first section of it, and not enough into the second- I mean, there's no way it could possibly be as complicated as I make it sound. All I need is to figure out what the sun represents, and then it should be no problem. But it doesn't seem like it should be that easy. It seems like because it's Tia Dalma it should be **way** more complicated.

It is quite irritating, to have something like this to think of. I'd ask Elizabeth what hers is except I'm not speaking to her. Why am I being so stubborn again? Why am I not talking to her again?...

Oh yeah. The kiss, that's why. I had to stop and think about it again. Because I can tell you, I am ready to listen to everything she says now, but then my stubborn side kicks in. "What are you thinking? SHE betrayed YOU! Not the other way around! Get your head out of the clouds, and break your engagement to her! You'll have plenty of women **_swooning_** over you when you get home!" And then I argue with myself. I find I do that regularly now. "What do you mean **break our engagement**? What are you, CRAZY! Your heart could _never_ belong to any one else! You'd always regret it, and most of the women that swoon over you are strumpets. That shows your worth, right there. _Strumpets_." "SO! Strumpets are perfectly respectable women! Well… they drink a little too much, but they're still respectable!" "Um… about that. No. Not even. They're whores. That's just wrong. And revolting. And wrong. Plus, revolting. Did I mention wrong and revolting?" "Elizabeth's a strumpet." "OH MY GOD, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT MY FIANCEE IS A STRUMPET, I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU; YOU BLOODY BASTARD!" "…I meant it in the best possible way?"

**Will **

**Elizabeth**

Entry 6- Moving quickly

We are out of the closet now. Just a moment please.

!#$&()#$&$#$(((($#$#!#$$&&&&($&(#&#$$!

Excuse me. My goodness, how un-lady like. How very pirate-like. GEE I WONDER WHY… I'VE HAD IT! I'VE HAD WITH THESE STUPID WOBBLY-LEGGED RUM-SOAKED DON'T –GIVE-A-BLOODY-DAMN-TO-WHETHER-THEY-HURT-ANYONE PIRATES!

A-hem. Pardon me again. That's it. I'm taking Barbossa's cabinet tonight, and Will and I are going to be locked in it, and I'm going to be the boldest person he's ever met. EVER.

Down to the depths with whatever man thought of silence. I could chew iron, he makes me SO MAD. Now; to the reason why we aren't in said closet anymore. Yesterday we approached a ship that wasn't flying any colors. The _Flying Dutchman_. Or… not. Turns out that it is a ship called the _Empress_, and they are from a place called China. They only speak I guess, Chinese, but a couple of them speak English. Very poorly, but I don't think that it is their native language. I wish I could speak another language- other than French, that way I could yell at Will in more than French and English. That, especially now more than ever, would be nice.

YOU SEE? EVERYTHING I DO LEADS ME RIGHT BACK TO THINKING ABOUT WILL!

**_Everything_**. And it's past the point of me trying to be nice about it. Tonight, there will be a fight. There will be a fight, and it will resolve in Will and I being thoroughly exhausted from screaming at each other, and we will be WillandElizabeth again, not Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. Thepirateandthelady. Not the blacksmith who makes swords, and the lady that wants him more than anything in the world.

Do you see how badly I hurt right now? We're both hurting, but mainly from each other. And so tonight everything is better. Back to the whole why-we-aren't-in-the-closet. The captain of the _Empress_ s name is Sao Feng. And he seems innocent enough, but something I noticed is how he kept glancing at me as if I were a goddess of the sea. He will prove to be an interesting person. You know, I used to think that Barbossa was just a nasty brute; but he's actually turning out to be a nice man. A good man, if he wanted to be.

Of course that's probably an insult to him, but that's okay. These are _my_ confessions. Will awaits impatiently.

-my new nickname: Liz


	7. Chapter 7: Compromise to Compromise

**Will**

Hmmmm, that was an interesting night.

One word.

**_WOW_**.

I didn't think she was so bold.

I can tell you this: I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER **EVER** underestimate Elizabeth Alexandria Swann again. She is FAR bolder than even Jack could ever think.

SO anyway, Sao Feng and Barbossa have decided to split up, and meet back here at an island we've found that is hidden, in two weeks. I personally don't think it is a good idea to split up if the _Flying Dutchman_ finds one ship or the other. Maybe I should mention this fact to Barbossa.

Back to Elizabeth. Or should I keep you in suspense? I think I'll keep you in suspense and tell you little bits.

First she locked us in Barbossa's cabinet, and then we fought. She told me I was being a wanker, I called her a Tortuga strumpet, she slapped me and we screamed some more. And that's basically it except for the last part. (sing-song voice) I'm not telling you, I'm not telling you. I had better go.

**Will **

**Elizabeth**

So there. I was bold. NO. I was bolder than bold. I was spunky, feisty, gutsy, rude and disrespectful, assuming, assumptive, audacious, boldfaced, brash, brazen, cheeky, contumelious, familiar, forward, impertinent, impudent, insolent, malapert, nervy, overconfident, pert, presuming, presumptuous, pushy, sassy, saucy, arresting, conspicuous, eye-catching, marked, noticeable, observable, outstanding, pointed, prominent, pronounced, remarkable, salient, signal, striking, brassy, flip, fresh, smart-alecky- pick a synonym. I was. And I will be. Because I accept myself finally. I am who I am, and that is all I am- all I can be.

And now William Joseph Turner will never think that I may be someone else. Ever. What happened you say?

Well, I suppose I shall tell you. Will came into the cabin, I'm pretty sure expecting to get locked in there, and get locked in there he did. Barbossa had told him to get something or another out of the cabin and I could hear Will protesting the floor above. _Goodness_ was he protesting, for all he was worth. "Ah, you don't need that!" "Yes, I do. Go get it for me, boy." "I can just get one fr-" "_Go get it for me. **Now.**_" "Aye, sir, I have one on me person!" "Pintel, go bloody help Ragetti find his eye!" "Aye, sir." "YES! EYE!" "…Sir, he was saying yes. Aye as in yes." "Shut up, Turner! Go get me it NOW!" "AYE SIR!" His sarcasm toward Barbossa in his last comment, made me cover my mouth to keep from laughing too loudly.

Then I heard his footsteps, coming down the hallway and all my laughter disappeared. I stood behind the door, and he slammed it open, and it was all I could do to not puke on myself. Doorknob right into my stomach, and I had eaten less than an hour ago.

But I managed to recuperate, and shut the door. Will spun around, and you could tell instantly he was ticked. Beyond ticked. Pissed.

"_Oh, **God**. Elizabeth, how many times are we going to go through this?" _**"Until you come to terms with the fact that _I love you_." **_"Yeah? Can't wait to hear this one. What on this earth makes you think that I would come to terms with unreal facts?"_

That's what I had expected. Here's what I got. Will is curve. I am bold. Go figure.

"_Oh, dear God. What do **you** want?" _

"**You to come to the fact that I love you."**

"_Elizabeth, I'm not talking to you. You're the worst person I've ever met, and to be frank, I really do hope you'll die."_

I hadn't expected that. I lost my posture, and came completely unglued.

"**You what?"**

"_Hope you die, you hateful wench."_

"**Hateful? Wench?"**

"_Yes. Hateful in the sense that you want to act like nothing is wrong between us, and wench in the fact that you're not worthy to be called a strumpet."_

"**Excuse me?"**

"_I. Hope. You. Die. A. Painful. And. Miserable. Death."_

"**Why? I thought you loved me."**

"_I did. Now I see I misjudged who you are, and your moral center. You belong with Jack. Not with me. You're so much like him."_

"**Oh? Except for a sense of honor, and dignity. A moral center that you don't recognize, and personal hygiene."**

"_Besides, you love him."_

"**I WHAT?"**

I can't even describe my shock at this sudden revelation.

Since when did I love _Jack FREAKING Sparrow_!

And Will rolled his eyes so far back in his head I thought I'd never see them again. I was tempted to smack him to see if they'd come back.

"_Oh, my word. ELIZABETH! Could you please stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about! This is getting old. Quickly."_

"**William Joseph Turner, if I knew what you were talking about, then this might have been solved TWO WEEKS AGO!"**

"_Elizabeth Alexandria Swann, don't you start in that tone with me!"_

"**YES FATHER!"**

"_STOP IT!"_

"**Will, you're being so childish. Can w-"**

"_And you're one to talk?"_

"**I honestly do not understand why you're being so harsh to me."**

"_How about a KISS, Elizabeth?"_

WHOA BUDDY! Did he just say… I mean… I thought I had been discreet about it… Is that why?

"**Do what?"**_  
"A KISS, ELIZABETH! WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF OR STUP-"_

He didn't even get the word out of his mouth as I slapped him across the cheek, shocking both of us, but suddenly waking him up as my voice screamed at him. I was no longer trying to compose and control myself. I just let my thoughts spill.

"**Will! Are you JOKING? You honestly think that I would choose JACK SPARROW over YOU! FOR THE LOVE OF MOTHER AND CHILD! I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER choose bloody Captain Jack Sparrow over… the… blacksmith…** (insert tears here)**… meaning… you! I can't… even… fathom… what… was… going on………… inside your mind to…"**

"_Elizabeth take a deep breath."_

"**NO! I don't wannatakeadeepbreath! Iwantyoutounderstand!"**

"_You what? Sorry, not familiar in the language of Swannish. Or Elizabethish. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe that's why you kissed Jack." _

"**I killed Jack."**

"_You excuse me? He elected to stay behind, you were just… well, I don't know what you were 'just' doing, but you kissed him and he stayed behind on his own foolishness, do not blame yourself for his brave decision."_

"**You honestly think that Jack was brave enough to stay on his OWN? God, Will! You're so STUPID!"**

I ran out of the room in tears. Will hasn't spoken to me at all since. Not that I blame him. He actually looks different. Like he's deeper into his thoughts, he always has the look of contemplation of his face. And all I can say for that? "YES!" Because it means that he is thinking about me. Or what I said. Or perhaps both, which would be even better. Wouldn't it? I had better go, Barbossa needs to meet with all the crew to tell us exactly what's going on, and since he doesn't listen to my advice- but listens to Will's, I had better go see what's going to happen…

Liz


	8. Chapter 8: Abandoning Hope

**Will**

So we're moving again. Yay us. Must I say it? Well then here it is.

NOT.

Anyhow, I have been thinking about what Elizabeth said. Erm, what Elizabeth screamed, rather. And I think she's right. I think that I overreacted and I think that I was- am- childish, and stupid at times. But I also think that I am right in the sense that she totally and completely loves Jack Sparrow. I know her, and I know that she is lying right now.

Well, was lying then anyhow. She stares at me intently now, for long periods of time. As if she's waiting for me to go "Oh! You're right! I am stupid, and you love me _far_ much more than Jack!" Well, here's some devastating news for her. I am not so incompetent that I cannot think for myself, and am always wrong. And I really do not think she understands that.

But what she does understand is that I am thinking. That I am thinking deeply. And she's waiting for me to confront her. Though I don't know when I'm going, or even if I dare. I doubt it, I'm a chicken.

Or is she the chicken for thinking I would believe her moronic story?

I mean, that makes sense! For _her_ to be the chicken. She's afraid she won't win in the "game" of love! That's it, right there!

If she can't have Jack, she'll want me because I'm second on her list, probably followed by James Norrington and who knows afterwards… what a strumpet. I can't believe I actually let her talk to me the way I did. It's almost insane to think that I did.

Or maybe its not. Some part of me still wants to believe her. Like I'm arguing with myself again. I have to get over her, to move on. I should break our engagement. That would be easiest for both of us, and help break some of the tension between the crewmates and us. It seems we're outcaste because we're a "couple".

I'll do that now.

Will

**Elizabeth**

I can't think right now. I can't feel. I can't. What did he just say? Did he…

Impossible. This is impossible. He's _my_ Will… And he just… jerked from underneath me by some idea that isn't real… How could I have let this happen?

HOW COULD I HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN?

THIS IS MY ENTIRE _BLOODY_ FAULT!

IF I had just let him come to me, if I had just waited if I had just not kissed Jack… IF I HAD DONE ANYTHING ELSE, WOULD HE STILL HAVE DONE THAT?

I really am not sure anymore. He didn't even call me Ellie like he normally does. That was our thing… the nicknames… and he called me… _Miss Swann_.

He hasn't called me that in about five years. And then he completely just… GAWD.

Gone. In a flash. I kept my eyes open and he was by my side, but when I blinked he fled. Is it the fear that I might be taken again? Is it the anger that I kissed Jack? Is it anxiety for not being married? Not being allowed to have sex? WHAT IS IT?

I would give anything to know. ANYTHING. I'd give up this search for one of my best friends to have William back. You name it. I'd give it.

-Elizabeth

**Hector**

Aye, the lass and the whelp give me a headache. This is something to relieve the pain. I have no idea what happened, but I'm feeling inclined to hit the whelp very hard right now.

Maybe it's the instinct of what little heart I have left; he has made the lass cry and write furiously. The she slammed her book and buried her face into her knees, and she is sobbing so hard her entire body is wrenching, as if she were possessed.

It is quite nauseating to watch. He said something to her, she yelled something back, he turned to look away, and said something else, and then walked away. I have never, in my clear 56 years seen of look of pure mortification and horror, dismay and nausea of its own on one's face. And she managed to have every ounce possible. I should go ask her what's wrong, but I get the feeling that she just wants to be left alone right now.

I just hope she knows that those years ago when I almost killed her were nothing personal, that I just wanted to be _me_ again, for now I feel guilty. _Feel_ guilty, thanks to her. I have many things to thank her for it seems, though I'm not sure what all to. I think I'll figure it out along the way. I should go and talk to her. Or maybe I should yell at the whelp.

Or maybe I'll tell Anamaria to talk to her, because they're both female and she might feel more comfortable. And I'll go yell at the whelp. That's what I'll do.

- Hector Barbossa


	9. Chapter 9: What if? Captain Troubles

**Will**

You know how you think you know someone and then they go and surprise you? That realization that what you thought was so backwards and turned around that it can never be associated with anything else without you thinking of the time you were wrong.

Yeah, that just happened to me.

I can hardly believe who it came from, too. I never expected in a million years for Hector Barbossa to defend my ex-fiancée. He asked to speak to me, and I told him sure. Then we stepped into his cabin, and I really couldn't believe the reaction I received from him. It truly shocked me. He told me that if I hurt her once more that he swore on the pain of birth that he'd kill me.

I tried to deny that I'd hurt her, but the look on her face has scarred me. I'll never be able to look at either of them with the same feelings. She watched through the window, but not at Barbossa- not between the two of us.

She stared right at me. _Right _at me, and our eyes connected because I was too stubborn to look away. And I tell you now, that I couldn't withstand that much pain again. I could feel what she was feeling, and it felt as if my heart was being forcedly ripped from my chest.

I actually have some nonviolent questions now.

Was she telling the truth? Is that really how she was feeling? How huge of a mistake have I made? Have I made one at all? Is it really that all she wants is me? Or is there something more? Did she send Barbossa to talk to me? Or is he feeling paternal because of how hurt she seems? Are those real tears welling up in her eyes? Is she just faking it? Is my life turned upside down? Or is this the way it was destined to be? Will I ever be able to understand her? Am I just making this whole thing a bigger mystery than it actually is? What if I _did_ make a mistake? What if she really is hurting that badly? What if her tears are real? What if I never love again? What if I stay a pirate? What if I don't? What if I change? What if my soul darkens and I become as bitter as Barbossa- who has very little feeling, or does he have more than he lets on? What if I change my name and disappear so I never have to deal with these people again? What if I let myself get eaten by the Kraken? Will it take away my pain? Or will it make it worse? _What if the sky turns to fire and my nose falls off?_

Okay, a little exaggeration there; but still. I have certainly grown to hate What-Ifs. They haunt my mind every day and night, and I lose quite a bit of sleep over them. Especially a chosen few of the above. I just know that somehow I am wrong about something, or even a whole bunch of things, and the rest of them will never let me forget it if I'm wrong and later start doubting something.

I look back in my journal now, and see how already my words were traced with bitterness and a unique hatred. Not hatred of a person, as I tried to make it seem. But it is a hatred of the situation; this being trapped here and not being sure of things. That's what it truly is. And I was finally able to admit that. OH! Wow, remember this? "The sun that you believe is now setting, is only just beginning to rise." I wonder if I could find meaning in it now?

Will

**Hector**

Alright. So, the yelling at the whelp helped extremely, except for the fact that now Miss Swann has been taken by our "friends" who were "helping" us search for the Kraken. They stole her during the night, and we've no idea where they are, for their ships are as silent as Death, and quick as it also.

So, Miss Swann has disappeared. That is wonderful.

NOT.

And we're OFF! On an extra adventure, that all of us wish would have never happened. But we're catching up to the Flying Dutchman, and I'm not sure whether to abandon this cause for the sake of another.

The decisions of a captain… Sorry for the short entry, but my heart is quite troubled at this, and I should think rather than write, and consult the other members on the crew instead of making this decision like I normally do by myself; it just makes more sense to do so.

H. Barbossa


	10. Chapter 10:She's Human, I'm Softening

**Anamaria**

And I spoke with her. Before she was taken. The hurt in her eyes and in her voice is truly something that could kill her.

She could die from the heartache a stupid man gave her. I would never let him forget that he killed her if she does die.

I would haunt him until he or I died, or both.

Because she is human- she makes mistakes. And of all the mistakes to make, she was doomed to make the biggest mistake of them all.

She told me what happened- that she killed him, and now that slowly, she is killing Will and herself too.

She told me.

And to be honest to myself and to this journal- if I do not hold my head high and try to be proud- then I can confess to myself. I would have done the same. I truly would have done the same if I had been in her position.

And now she is gone, and I wish I would have told her that. DO you think she'd believe me if I had?

I doubt it. I think she'd think I was just trying to make her feel better. Am I- even though she is not here?

Am I trying to find something in common between us? Or am I actually being true to myself?

This is the first time I have written in this journal in a couple of years… I am terrible at keeping journal entries every day or every week, or… any sort of pattern.

I am random.

Like Jack.

These things- however true they are- hurt to say and think.

In fact, they hurt so much, I can't stay to write any more. Because knowing me, I'd explore the thought and hurt myself more. Plus Barbossa is calling my name, so I'd better go see what he wants.

-Anamaria

**Will**

And then there were 19. Elizabeth is gone. And I feel absolutely miserable. Barbossa has asked the opinion of the crew, and we are to give him our vote tomorrow. We go after Elizabeth, or continue going after Jack. And I'm not sure what I want.

I want to rescue Elizabeth with everything in me, but on the other hand, I would most certainly love to rescue Jack just so I could have the opportunity to make HIM a eunuch.

So my major problem here is: I want to rescue both of them out of hatred. And I know that's not right. If Elizabeth were the rescued, as I want, then she would suffer.

She wouldn't be able to avoid me if I didn't want her to. This is what I want- her to suffer as I have. But at the same time, I'd feel guilty as hell if she DID.

But if Jack were to be rescued, he could blame this on almost anything and get away with it. Because of the bloody rum, and his drunkenness and his ability to persuade or talk his way out of anything.

Especially, but not limited to nights with strumpets, taking other men's women, getting the Black Pearl, and other things I don't even want to think about.

Speaking of rum, maybe I'll finally resort to it. I very rarely get drunk, but maybe if I do I'll be able to hold of my problems a bit longer.

Who knows, maybe I can become stark- raving mad like Jack.

Maybe that's what Elizabeth WANTS- though I can't really gather why she would want a drunk, for she sort of seemed to find him offensive. Especially when he implied something along the lines of HER being a strumpet.

So what am I supposed to do- I feel so lost. And sick to my stomach. Maybe that's just from the ship, though it's never seemed to affect me like this before. Or maybe it's from finally knowing myself completely. And the true bastard I have become.

I have figured out your riddle, Tia Dalma. And you're wrong.

"The sun that you believe is now setting, is only just beginning to rise."

That sun- of Elizabeth and my life together- that I believed was setting, is not rising. Not anymore. It has set, and it will stay that way. Permanently dark.

And then there were 18.

-Will

**Hector**

Something is wrong here. The whelp- Okay, okay- Turner has not said anything in two days. ANYTHING to ANYONE- and that includes minor things like "pardon me," when he bumps into someone.

He hasn't eaten he hasn't slept, and most of the time, I'm pretty sure he hasn't blinked. Maybe next I should sick Anamaria on _him_. She seems to have a way with talking, and I give her little credit of what she deserves.

The woman knows what the hell she's doing. Its almost as if she were a psychic of sorts. Maybe she is. Maybe I should ask her to know- or maybe not since I feel she'd slap me.

I love being able to feel- but there is a point of what I want to feel, and what I would rather not feel. That would go in the category of "Rather Not".

Besides, from what the lass told me, Jack has been slapped many a time in these past few years anyway, and they left a red mark on his cheek in the shape of a handprint.

I believe I saw these, those years ago when he and I were arguing about me standing on that God forsaken spit of land with no name and his word. Anamaria has quite the swing, from what I understand.

And I am not willing to test this fact.

Not many men would dare.

Speaking of men, I have told everyone to consider their choices- rescue Jack or rescue the lass. And I should probably gather the results, though I suspect for some reason that the vote will go to Jack, and that Turner will not vote at all. At least I'm being generous enough to ask.

Which is so unlike me, I wouldn't blame them if they made me walk the plank.

WHO AM I KIDDING? WALK THE PLANK MY ARSE!

I am softening! **_ACK!!!_**

Leaving before I get mushy, as I have disgusted myself!!

-Barbossa

4


	11. Chapter 11: I Wish Mine Would

**Anamaria**

It is amazing, how you think you know someone. How I thought I knew Turner. How I thought I knew Barbossa. No, I didn't- I've never known them truly until now. Barbossa is rough- with a soft spot for uncertainty since the Gold Incident.

And Turner… he is more stubborn than Jack with touches of a gentleman and hope that can pierce the soul. And determined. He is the most determined person I've ever met.

Once you make him determined there is no turning back. And I fear that Barbossa has, indeed, made him determined not to show weakness for Elizabeth- Liz, or Lizzey as she's been called by the crew.

I don't think he calls her any of the names we _pirates_ do. I think he is starting to understand why his father sent him away to become something- anything but a pirate, even though he wanted William to do nothing but become one.

Aye, I knew Bootstrap.

Everyone seems to think me younger than I am, but I compete with Jack for age. I think I am a couple years younger than Sparrow, though I know that I act more mature than him and William put together.

I know the question is running through your mind "why does she call him William instead of Will?" and that is because Lizzey calls him Will. I couldn't do that to the poor lad. Barbossa wants me to talk to him.

WHY? I'm not a bloody therapist, I AM A PIRATE!! But me own soft side is out in the light. So I have a soft spot! Make me walk the plank, sheesh. Its not illegal!

For some reason Barbossa seems to think that because I am a woman I know everything- and most women would be flattered, but me? Absolutely not. I know a little about a lot, and a lot about a little, but I do not know a lot about a lot. Just not me. I feel guilty for that, but it is not something I can help.

I suppose I could _try_ to talk to William. Just to see if I could help his poor situation- we're going after Jack before we go after Lizzey, and I think this fact- no. I _know_ this has devastated him… I mean… you'd have to meet this poor boy. He's merely 24, and he's already lost so much…

I don't know if he could go through losing his love after losing his father… especially not so close together- MY heart couldn't handle that, and I'm scarred from many of the things I've seen.

Hell, if that happened, _I'd_ marry the poor boy, even though I'm old enough to be his mother… I know, I know. How insensitive of me to say- but I thought when I wrote it down that it might be sensitive, and now it just seems harsh and that I like William as more than just a friend- do not worry, Lizzey. I do not. Do not worry, Bootstrap. I do not.

-Anamaria

**Will**

And then there were 17. Someone died today. We're not sure what he had- but we _do_ know that hew was so sick he couldn't even open his eyes. He was breathing, though.

But that faded.

I wish mine would.

I wish mine would.

If my breath faded, if I died… it would be such a relief…we're going after Jack. Not my baby. No. Barbossa thinks that it would be wise to go after Jack and THEN Elli.

He thinks that Jack would know what to do… He thinks that Anamaria solves everything she's asked to… He seems to forget that I am not my father. I cannot withstand major emotional blow after major emotional blow.

Father… I miss his face… I'd _just_ begun to know him… And then he… It was all my fault, if I'd just done what he told me to do, then he wouldn't have died… and Elli wouldn't have gone missing…

I wish mine would…

Please, someone kill me… someone spare the courage to have the mercy to kill me, just so it won't hurt anymore, so maybe I can live in paradise.

But before I die I just want to look at her face again… to touch her and tell her I love her… but she is not here for me to say that to… maybe I should wait to die… it wouldn't make much sense, though.

Since if I ever _did_ see her again, she wouldn't believe me if I said I love her. Because of what I did. What Barbossa screamed at me for. No loving person would ever hurt someone they love like that. And I think I understand now, why she kissed Jack.

For me. Not like I'd kiss him- I mean that she kissed him, for me, so that she'd have the chance to be with me… because she loved me…

No loving person would ever hurt someone the way I hurt her. Then I suppose it is official. Yes, Hector Barbossa, you were right. It came back to bite me in the ars. And I regret it- again, as you said.

Yes, Elizabeth Swann, you were right. I am a pirate.

I exist no longer as William Turner, the blacksmith. And I embrace that.

- I am who I am.

**Hector**

THIS IS GETTING TOO WEIRD.

ITS ALMOST AS IF THE ENTIRE CREW IS GOING TO DIE OFF BEFORE WE REACH THE LOCKER.

I apologize, I'm just getting extremely frustrated with this because… Anamaria can't seem to reach the lad, and he just seems to sink lower and lower into himself- as if he's trying to kill himself.

As if he _wants_ to die.

Maybe he does. I don't know. And I don't have time to find out- I must attend to a fight that has broken out on the deck between Anamaria/Turner and a few others. And Anamaria is defending him, hugging him to herself… strange sight…

-Hector


	12. Chapter 12: She's Done It Again

**Anamaria**

You'd think they'd have better sense then to take me on- all of them. They're all turning stark-raving mad! I'm not sure what it is, but shortly after I stopped writing, they _all_ seemed to gang up on him. And they all stood against him. I watched them- they all talked to him at once. I heard shouts of "This is all _your_ fault!" "Why did _you _do this to us?!" and multiple other things… some of them non-repeatable.

I walked over, and they continued yelling. "And _you_! This is _your _fault too! You're a _woman_! Females are bad luck- Gibbs said so and we didn't believe him, and now we are being picked off one by one!" I completely told them off for that comment.

"Shut up you arses! This is no more _my_ fault then Cotton has a tongue!" One rolled his eyes, and yelled "Cotton _does_ have a tongue, just not much of one anymore!!"

Then one of them hit William in the face, and he just stood there to take it- he didn't even flinch when he saw the fist coming toward his face.

He just took it, but he didn't stand back up all the way.

It was almost as if he was hoping someone else would hit him just as hard.

"WOULD YOU CEASE?!" I yelled, but "someone else" _did_ hit him. And I acted as if a mother would. I hunched my shoulders around his head and held it to my bosom, turning away and glaring. "Hit me," I growled. "I dare you." No one took the challenge, but instead left us alone, and I took William below decks to clean up his nose, which was now bloody.

"And you were just going to stand there and take that? What is _wrong _with you, William? Talk to me!" He stared at me with the dullest eyes. In them, he seemed hollow. Most people convey an emotion in their eyes, whether it is sadness masked by a smiling mouth, or happiness… boredom, _anything_. But William's eyes had no emotion in them. And to be honest, that really surprised me.

"I am so tired… tired of _everything_. Of this life, of hurting. Of never being sure. I used to be the surest person… but now… I just never know! I really just want for now… for all this to disappear. For me to be the person- with the honesty I used to have…"

I smiled. I remember feeling this way- at first, after I'd become a pirate. I told him my past- which I suppose I will tell you now too.

"Aye. I used to feel the same… you know, I was a respectable lady in Port Seely. I was twenty-one, when my own port was invaded for the very same reason yours was. I am like an older version of Lizzey- I had a piece of the gold that I stole from my best friend. I thought he, too, was a pirate. And he turned out to be one. But not the way I dreamt. I was never taken to the Isle de Muerta, the crew that had previously stolen the treasure figured out what was happening before we left the port. They killed my best friend. I went to Tortuga, leaving my family distraught. I was in love with Benjamin- my best friend…thought I'd make a fairly good strumpet. Turned out after a night, I was wrong. Granted- no one knew it was my first, but something about it left me empty. But the man that I slept with… he showed me the freedom I was looking for. And the quench it gave me shocked me. I'm a pirate because of him. He took me on an adventure. I've only ever slept with that man. He showed _you_ the freedom _you_ were looking for."

William's eyes lit up a little. "Sparrow…"

"Aye. Sparrow."

"And you've told me this why?"

"Because Lizzey is nothing like me."

"I don't understand."

"Lizzey would die for you, William. She is not afraid to admit how much she loves you- not like how terrified I was to admit it to my father. He would have disowned me if I had told him how in love I was with 'that boy,' as he called Ben."

"She doesn't love me. I wouldn't love me after the things I've said to her. I've ruined her chance of having a proper courtship, now. I don't know how many people would be after her when we get back to Port Royal when they receive the news that she and I are no longer engaged. She'll receive so many calls she won't even remember my name in a couple of years."

"Yes she will."

"What makes you say that?"

"The regret I feel every day for not telling Ben that I loved him."

"Key word: _loved_."

"You're right. I don't love him the way I used to- he is not here to return my love for him the way a proper relationship would work. You and Lizzey have something special- she gave up her _life _for you- as you said, any chance of having a proper courtship. Because she loves you with a blazing passion that I'm likely to never see again. That is why she kissed Jack, William. That is why she betrayed you in the worst possible way- to heal you. She broke you to heal you. What a contradiction, am I not correct?"

"I'm not sure. AGAIN."

"She broke you- she hurt your relationship horribly, didn't she?"

"I don't want to talk anymore."

"Yes, well, you've got me going now, so no stopping until I say we're done."

"Okay, so she hurt me beyond emotional capacity."

"But she did it so that you and she had a chance to have your life together- to have that fiery and passionate relationship- so that your wedding night would exist and bind you together…"

He blushed a little bit- as if he didn't expect me to be so bold as to mention the possibility of them having sex. Because _that_ would never happen- what? Does he think they'll just tread through their marriage and never lose their virginities? It had to be said SOME time, does it not?

"She broke you to heal you. And despite what you think she may feel about you- I can guarantee that she still loves you the way that I've grown to love Captain Jack. He's my Ben now."

"But doesn't that seem wrong- to replace Ben that way?"

"Is Ben here? Do you see him here to object with the way I'm living my life? No. Thanks to him, I've found who I will remain in love with. Who will not die without a fight as Ben did. I witnessed it. He didn't flinch. He didn't even glance up. He didn't hear my scream. He wasn't there for the next two weeks of sleepless nights. Jack was. I feel the way I used to about Ben about Jack, now."

"Are you telling me you're in _love _with _Jack Sparrow_?"

"Very much so. Why else would I be on this wild adventure with the rest of these crazy people? Do you think I _like_ it? If so, you're sadly mistaken. I only love to sail under the command of Jack. Otherwise, I captain my own ship."

"Oh."

"William, I would like to share an analogy that I have recently come up with. And I realize that Jack is not likely to be in love with me the way I am with him."

His eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

"Jack's a ladies man. You're an Elizabeth man."

This seemed to sink in, and he leaned back in his chair, thoughts and emotions flitting by in his eyes. He stared to his right, as if he were trying to calculate something. It weirded me out, but after a few minutes, his eyes shifted to his left. This whole staring concept was _just _starting to get annoying when he smiled a smiled that I hadn't seen in ages. As if someone inside his mind had just said something too personal to repeat aloud, but funny enough to make one laugh when remembering it.

"Anamaria?"

"Yes?"

Then he said the simplest words that made me almost sing- I thought hard about jumping up and down and screaming, followed by dancing around in circles like a madwoman, but I decided that wouldn't be the smartest thing I'd ever planned. I need to go, so I bid you ado- but hear are the words he spoke:

"You're right."

-Anamaria

**Hector**

Anamaria appeared. She saved the day- I honestly don't have a clue as to why Gibbs would say she's bad luck. Never- never have I met a more "lucky" woman.

Someone to be there to pick up after the scoundrels who help run my ship- even I say they're pirates; and I know they are- but I mean as more than just their career path, I mean, to the soul, they are pirates.

Only pirates would gang up on an innocent woman like that.

And she is strong.

Ten times stronger than any male on this ship- we are all more vulnerable than any woman, though we refuse to admit such a thing in their presence. This is not a competition.

They win by far- they give birth to children.

And I thought I almost saw a smile on Turner's face today. A sad one, but one nonetheless- the first I've seen of one in weeks… he stared at his hands, and I think he may have been blinking back tears- his nose was running, and his eyes were glistening- around his eyes were red, as if he'd been rubbing them.

I think she's healed him. By God, she's done it again- that Anamaria really is something to keep around. I shall miss her when this is eventually over with.

Unless Jack trusts me again.

And then I would be under his command again. Which, to be honest- NEVER MIND, I'm talking walk-the-plank talk again. I should go before I say something I regret. Before I say something I _won't _regret.

- Hector


	13. Chapter 13: A Full Circle, If You Will

It has occurred to me that I did not properly credit the wonderful people of which I got two of my quotes from. This occurred to me about twenty seconds after my last post, and fanfiction wouldn't let me back on- for some reason it decided to act completely gay, so I figured I'd credit them now. "Jack's a ladies' man, Will's an Elizabeth man"- **williz** hope you don't mind too much, dear. As for Barbossa's insight- that women are stronger than men- we give birth to children, that bit goes to the one and only **Keira Knightley**. Read on! -hearts- And Then What

**Anamaria**

And now he thinks.

I saw a smile- a faint one. He remembers… this is good.

I've seen him eat.

He is not killing himself anymore. I think he finally realizes how much she loves him. Again, this is good. No. This is utterly and positively **_fantastic_** because this means that he is living- allowing himself to live, and maybe even wanting it. The way I believe he used to.

He's gained that will again- oh my lord, that was a terrible joke… he's gained the "Will" again… ha ha ha.

We reach shores tomorrow. We're going to find Jack- we set out. And I'm very sure that Will is going to corner Jack to prove what I said was the truth, but at least he suspects it is.

I have never given him any reason not to trust me, as Jack has- in fact, I'm probably one of the few who has not given poor William any reason to not think I was honest. Which you know, considering there are about twenty crew members, is not really that great.

Of course, there sits the reminder. _We are pirates_. He has no reason to think we are honest, with what we are and all that. But some part of me still hopes that he doesn't look down on us because we're not trustworthy people- though I have proven to be more trustworthy than the rest of them… But that still is no matter. Jack had proven himself honest, and then contradicted it beyond belief. He contradicted it so badly that it became true- a full circle, if you will.

And now I have to wait. And now I should sleep, tomorrow will be a rather long day, and I'm not sure if we'll find Jack or not…

-Anamaria

**Will**

Maybe she is right.

Maybe Elli _did_ do it to save us. Our relationship- to preserve us.

Maybe that's what she was trying to tell me. Though I would hear nothing of the sort. Nothing. Because I was afraid of what she may say if it were not true. I had the entire thing rehearsed in my head- foolish, I know.

She's tell me that she's in love with Jack, and then I'd break off our relationship and tell her… well… to go for it, I suppose- and even though I've been through a bit with her, I still find it hard to believe that she would want Jack… even less believable that I would sit back and let her go- just watch her bloody sail away on that stupid ship with its captain… the mere image in my mind is enough to make me feel queasy.

That I would not fight for her- that helps the nausea none.

So what if she _did_ do it for us- for her and I? How could she forgive me after the things I've said to her? I would not forgive me- ever. No.

I wouldn't be _able_ to forgive me. Because I wouldn't think I'd deserve me after that. That is slightly confusing. But only slightly.

Now suppose she did do it for us. What would happen then? I would return to marry her? And then what? We live happily ever after? It doesn't sound right- I don't know why, but it sounds so… empty.

Its like trying to imagine life without the se- I cannot believe I truly just almost wrote that- What have I become?!!

_Who_ have I become?!

I somehow know this- though I _really_ thought that I could avoid this.

I am a pirate. I have become I pirate.

So much for avoiding familiarity with such beings.

I have become that which I swore against.

A full circle, if you will.

I wish that Elizabeth were here to smack some sense into me. No. I wish Elizabeth were here so that I could hold her and tell her how much I really do love her. And then ask if she'll still have me. Or if she'd prefer to have Jack. Because if that's what she truly wants…

Then she can have him.

-Will

**Hector**

Antebellum- Belonging to the period before a war.

That is the true definition of what is happening.

We are in the antebellum.

And now, after we rescue dear old Captain Jack Sparrow, the war will begin. If he decides to fight for her the way he should. Of course he's going to fight for her.

How could he not?

Its plainly seen now that he is in love with her. We will have to rescue her. And Jack will have to help. Whether he likes it or not- just the way I have to help rescue him even though I like him no more than I like Davy Jones. Which, obviously, I do not. Or else I would not still be here.

I should sleep. Sleeping right now would be the wisest thing to do, as we go tomorrow to rescue Jack. I am rescuing Jack. It seems not so long ago that Jack was trying to rescue _me_. And now it goes the opposite.

A full circle, if you will.

-Hector


	14. Chapter 14:Merry ChristmasWait And See

**Anamaria**

We have not found him yet, we go ashore again tomorrow. But you know, something about tomorrow reassures me- the concept of the fact that I have lived long enough to _have _a tomorrow just astounds me and almost makes me rejoice- almost, except that it would jinx me and I would be dead by the end of the week.

I know how this works, you see.

I wonder when Jones will show up- he knows that we're in the Locker, and he knows who we're looking for. The question is:

Does the Locker qualify as land, even though _he _runs it?

Because if so, he cannot step a foot on it- is that correct? But if it does not qualify, then what will happen to us?

Will Jones catch us, or let us go and catch us later?

Hmm, Captain Jones, you are a mighty hard man… squid… thing… whatever. You're mighty hard to predict. Quite surprising, really. Ah, how I loathe that word. Surprise. It has the element to ruin everything or make everything better in an instant. Sometimes the ruining will become so completely horrific that we won't even recognize ourselves.

But then there are those sometimes that those surprises lift us higher so we can see clearly what heaven looks like. Or we are heaven.

Again, sleeping- d'you have any idea how exhausting and soul-destroying this search is? But we will find Jack. I have a full confidence.

I guess I'll wait and see.

-Anamaria

**Will**

We've made little progress through the Locker. I suspect Jones has Sparrow hidden in the back, or in the middle, just so we have to search through the _entire_ thing.

That's save him time, as by the time we find him, Jones will be here, and saving him even _more_ time, we are already at the locker, so all he has to do is kill us.

And we're already at the Locker.

He's a lot smarter than given credit on this ship. I'm not even sure what this ship is called. I'll make it a note to find out.

Okay, so turning to Elizabeth.

I've decided that it doesn't matter whether she's in love with me or with Jack. I still love her. And if she wants to be with him, then I will let her.

I cannot stop that.

But if that _is _what she wants, I cannot help but think of what I would say to her- would I be the nice person, whom she both does and doesn't deserve?

Or would I be the arse to make a huge deal out of it- to show her that it hurts me and make it so she wouldn't forget me?

It would hurt either way, but the question is: to make her remember or to not make her remember. Though I'm not sure if she could forget. I know that I certainly would not- meaning if she _did_ choose Jack. No more of this "I-hope-she-ends-up-with-him-they-deserve-each-other, bunch-of-pirates!" nonsense.

I am more a pirate than any of them. Who am I to point fingers?

Exactly. No one.

And you know- I've only said what will happen if she chooses _Jack_. But what about if she chooses me??

What if she chooses me? What do I do, then?!

I suppose I would firstly have to admit that I was wrong. Then I would have to beg for forgiveness, which could be kind of interesting… maybe… I don't know. Somehow I find it easier to imagine it being Jack that she chooses. Or maybe that's just human life- maybe that's what everyone does.

Hopes for the best and expects the worse- but where's the surprise in that; the element of _life_ seems to miss from that.

And we all are surprised at times, all of us, whether we want to admit it or not.

Because life takes unexpected twists that surprise us. But since we hope for the best and expect the worst, shouldn't we see if coming? I guess not.

Does that mean that I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worst?

That was a really stupid question. I am hoping Elli chooses me, but expect she'll choose Jack. My better and worse, right there. Presented aloud.

Presented not only aloud, but open to a world that is unforgiving. So, have I made the right choice? Or have I doomed us all?

Questions circle my thoughts that only Jack can truly answer. I don't trust Elizabeth to answer them specifically because of everything that has happened within the last two weeks.

I can hardly believe that Jack is going to tell me the _complete _truth, because it is, after all, Captain Jack Sparrow- and he is known infamously for his lies and lying abilities. But I can't help but wonder…

What if just this once he tells me the truth and the truth ends up being something entirely different? So different that it surprises me? Of course it will be a surprise any which way he tells me, merely because I don't know what to expect.

Enough of my nonsensical ramblings. I must sleep more. Tia Dalma said that keeping up on sleep is crucial for us. For "In dreams you will see the one you seek. Trust them, they are visions of reality."

Does that mean that everything I dream may be connected to something that's going to happen in my life? Because if there's some symbols in there that I can somehow pull out of my dreams then maybe my life will make sense again.

She also said that writing poems help. I really haven't had writer's inspiration, which doesn't exactly help… Maybe I'll get going on a rough draft of one. Maybe if I do it'll allow me to sleep more fully- though I know that's not going to happen until I resolve these problems with Elizabeth…

Let's wait and see.

Will

**Hector**

Yes, they are right. This is soul destroying, this endless search. But we are getting close to him- I know we are. I can feel it. Or maybe I just _hope_ I can feel it. We will find him. But Davy Jones has something that at this point, we do not.

The element of surprise. We have no idea when he's going to attack- if he even attacks at all! Though it would be hard-pressed to say something as stupid as "he's not gonna attack". What kind of moron would think that at this point???

Back to this element. We have to have it for the rescue of Miss Swann. Aye, the element of surprise is a difficult one to master. For with the element of surprise comes the idea of being sneaky- which is rather hard to do when you're surrounding by the complete imbeciles that I am…

With the exception of Anamaria- she's probably the smartest of the bunch, and she's a _woman_. Is this not sorry?

I had better get some rest, all this walking to look for Jack makes me exhausted, for I'm not exactly twenty anymore. We will find him… I'm sure of it.

But I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Hector


	15. Chapter 15: Today

**Anamaria**

Today.

Today was full of bliss.

Today, we found Captain Jack Sparrow…

Well, actually, he found us. We were back at our camp getting ready to go out on our excursion for the day. To find him, and we were less the ten steps in each direction we were paired off to go in… myself with the gorgeous Tia Dalma. That lady has problems. I smiled at her- and I wish she hadn't smiled back. Ulk.

Anyway, then we started out on our path. Didn't I turn to her and tell her that searching the entire Locker was going to take forever and what did she say?

"Witty Jack is closer than you think."

_What_ Jack? Nice one. That man is no where NEAR witty, otherwise he would have seen this coming, or somehow talked his way out of his debt like he does the rest of the time. That drives me crazy. Why didn't he talk his way out of it……

And then I remember. Elizabeth, the prag… She killed him. Death by kiss- who would've thought JACK SPARROW- the whore **he** is, to die by kiss alone? Honestly!

So anyway, I turned to ask her why the bloody hell she thought he was close, why she had let us go out and search for him if he was near to begin with, but then I saw it. The _Black Pearl_, sailing over the sand near our camp at the beach. Everyone rushed back to the camp, seeing this, and we all stood by as he rowed back to us on a dingy. He immediately turned to me.

"Anamaria, get out of my sight. I have no time to deal with whores on my journey back."

_EXCUSE HIM????_

Before I could help it or resist, I felt my hand reach back, and sting as the sound of skin crashing together rang in our ears.

All the men winced. My purpose in life, has finally been fulfilled!

"I am _not _awhore," I seethed. His mouth was still in the form of an O.

He turned to Gibbs. "See that she is brought to my cabin to have a speak with, Mr. Gibbs. And where on earth have the rest of you…"

His eyes trailed to the men we'd sailed here with.

"And who might you… never mind. The rest of you? Good day," he said, turning on his heel to leave us there behind.

"Jack," William started. "You're-"

"Ah, the whelp. Please kill him right along with his bonny lass," Jack told Gibbs. Gibbs' own eyebrows knotted in confusion.

"You're in Davy Jones' Locker," William finished.

Jack turned back. "Nope! I am not, but I shall leave you here-"

"You need a crew."

"No, I-"

"Jack, you cannot lie to me," William argued. "You told me once that you cannot bring the ship into Tortuga by yourself, and the Pearl is bigger than the _Interceptor_ was at the time."

"William, I have plenty of crewmen aboard my ship without you. Thank you."

"He's gone bloody stark raving- barking, even, mad," I exclaimed. Gibbs glared at me.

"Jack, the East India Trading Company has taken over everything. There's not a single free port left- even Tortuga's children are being hung now. We have to do something."

Jack's lip curled. "Anything specific in particular that crosses your mind?"

_Turn your ass over to Jones so that he'll stop working for Beckett, and then possibly kill him so that the rest of us can go back to our normality??_

_Of COURSE not!_

"Just find our way back right now," Gibbs said nervously. Barbossa rolled his eyes.

"The Fourth Brethren Court's meeting. The song has been sung, and there are 8 of the 9 pieces of eight."

William glanced at me. "Nine pieces of eight?" He asked. "Don't ask," I replied. Grand, Barbossa! Thanks much for bringing that up!

"So I'll take you along, lock you in the brig. Not a problem-"

"Jack," William interrupted. "You need a crew."

He looked around at us. "I'm not entirely sure I WANT to sail with you all."

"Why's at?" I asked, curious suddenly.

"Because four of you have tried to kill me, and one of you succeeded!" He looked around. "Speaking of which, where is the bloody wench? I'd like to congratulate her for her success story of how she killed Captain Jack Sparrow!"

William blinked, staring at him.

"Who, Jack?"

"Ah! Turner! Good to see you, have fun in the sun, mate." He turned back around.

"Who killed you, Jack?"

He turned around to face William again. "She's not told you?"

"_Who_?"

"Your bonny lass, mate. Elizabeth. The strumpet. It's her fault that I'm here, did she not tell you that? Hmph, I would have thought that it was part your idea, mate."

For the first time in what seemed like most likely forever, William was at loss for words. Maybe he never really believed Elizabeth. That she had killed Jack- or at least, not the way the rest of us knew that she had. His mouth gaped open a little bit, and I felt myself reach out to close his mouth.

"She…"

"You didn't know? Well, that should be something merry to put in your relationship!"

"Lack of one."

"Where is she?"

"Gone. Sao Feng has hold of her now, Jack."

"I _knew_ there was a reason!"

"That…"

"You all came to rescue me. But seeing as how I have the ship, I'm rescuing _you_ it seems."

Every single one of us rolled our eyes.

"Yeah yeah yeah," I told him. "Our hero, Captain Jack Sparrow- please, can we go now?" He glared at me. Oh, goody! That talk was waiting.

"Well come on, then."

And so we were off!... Are off… will be off? Something like that.

Jack waits. Apparently he was serious about our "talk". Grand!... not.

-**Anamaria**

**Will**

We've found him. He thought I was part of the conspiracy… mutiny that Ellie played on him. And he just confirmed that I have been wrong from the start. In all except that she loves him, I know she does. But maybe there's a chance that she doesn't now. Maybe there's that same chance that she never did.

Maybe I am an idiot? Just maybe.

Today has been long. But filled with realizations. And I have just realized that we are stuck in the Locker until Barbossa and Jack or one of them figures out how to get out of here.

-**Will**

**Hector**

And the arguments begin!

Between Jack and you name the person. He does NOT want to go back, I don't think. The Brethren Court is meeting and he knows that most of the Court hates him. The least he could do is give me his piece of eight. This man does not understand just how horrid the stench of Beckett's ships is- you can smell them coming about… the stink of a man who has cheated in the game of catching and eliminating pirates. And we hate him for it. The stench is overwhelming.

Almost as bad as the stench of slavers, which everyone avoids because they are riddled with diseases and likely to kill most of the men on any one ship. Because the Africans are from an unknown land- meaning that they are not tamed, the people nor the land. I sailed on a slaver for 12 years. Nearly died several times, part of what makes some of these things so easy.

Then I met Jack. This knucklehead had the idea to go after the Isle de Muerta, and everyone or thing thought that he was mad. Well, standing there, in Davy Jones' Locker, I can confirm, that Captain Jack Sparrow is indeed, mad. Completely daft in an addictive way that people can't seem to stay away from.

And THEN you add in the fact that this daft bastard is drawn to danger like I am to the _Pearl_. It feels good to be back on my ship, I always loved this thing. Even back before she was at the bottom of the sea….. the _first_ time.

Nowadays it seems that there are no good men or even women out there. There are honest people, but honestly good people, I used to be able to name one. And said person is no longer good. Honest and honorable, maybe. But he used to be good and I think that is what is missing from this ship. That ONE man that always had the better say. Turner needs to get his act together.

It seems that he can't decide whether he's in love with Twiggy (Elizabeth) or not. It seems that he is in love with her, and fighting every bit of it because he does not want to take the chance that she doesn't love him back, which everyone with common sense can see that she is helplessly in love with the dumbass, and he is the only one who doesn't see this fact. Or maybe it's not that he _doesn't_ see it, maybe it's that he doesn't _want_ to see it.

Jack is in the captain's quarters, making himself comfortable. Which will suit for right now, I'll let him be. He yelled at Anamaria earlier. And she screamed right back. Most of it was inaudible, except the segment that would make even the most heartless pirate blush.

"WHY IS IT THAT YOU YELL AT NO ONE ELSE?" Anamaria's voice boomed.

"Because NO ONE ELSE IS A _PROBLEM_!"

"RUM, SEX, AND SCREAMING DO NOT FIX EVERYTHING, JACK!!!"

I snorted at the fact that Anamaria was most likely the only person in this world bold enough to stand up to Jack that way. Thank God we've her on our ship. No one else dares talk back to the man. Minus me, but we quarrel as if we were elderly women. Hmph.

Today was long. I am tired, and my thoughts and body ache.

-**Barbossa**

**Jack**

Yes it does. Rum, sex and screaming fixes bloody anything there is to fix. Ask any sensible non-eunuch.

And ANOTHER BLOODY ADVENTURE BEGINS- and with Hector. How loverly!

Oh, hell. Where is my rum?

And then there is Anamaria.

And Turner.

And Gibbs.

And Cotton.

And Marty.

And Cotton's parrot.

And Jack the monkey.

So, naturally, ALL the rum is gone.

I have been in the Locker for who knows how long, and what happens?

Everything goes to pieces.

When I was last on real land, Beckett was just taking over Port Royale, where the whelp and his bonny lass were to be married.

Now he's got control over the Caribbean seas because he's got the heart that James Norrington took off with and gave to him of the Davy Jones species. Traitorous arse, if I were to ever see him again I would kill him on the spot, provided I had a weapon.

Elizabeth Swann captured by an old "friend"… Sao Feng has hold of her, and if she's lucky she'll become a wife or a concubine. He is quite like Hector minus a sense of honour and fair play. And for me to say that Hector has a sense of fair play compared to anyone makes them a vicious brute of the nasty sort.

And then we get to William.

The lad has completely torn himself up inside, I can see it by the hollowed look in his eyes that he and said bonny lass are no more, or at least are _currently_ no more as it seems that those two are forever to break things off and return to their being a couple repetitively. How irritating. I almost did not recognize him with the weariest of expressions smothered on his face under determination.

Now I wait for them to turn mutiny as soon as the Brethren Court meeteth again.

How on earth… erm, how in God's name… bad idea… how have I managed to royally irritate almost every single person even _remotely_ involved in the Brethren Court? Why is the bloody thing called the BRETHREN court when there are clearly two women, anyway?

See?! The entire world has gone bits and pieces! And that's just the _beginning_ of the problems that we are about to return to face. If we can figure out HOW to get back.

These charts are maddeningly unhelpful. Quite reverse… clear as mud… up is down… sunrise sets………………………………… I'VE GOT IT!

-Jack. Of the non-monkey kind.


End file.
